I supposed to write a lot of things on my mind lately or any unusual circumtances i went through during Ramadhan, but it happens i trapped by unexpected feeling, unintended mood. Have you ever felt this experience? Like you are lacking of excitament towards environment, like you don’t have bright energy to spread to others or you feel your self esteem is at rock bottom. Worse is, you don’t even know why you feel this way.
I try to keep my self occupying outside work by reading some best seller novels, watching movies or laughing a lot with some fellows. But in the end, i was surrounded by questions about why do i feel this way. The time i feel secure the most is the dawn when i wake up for praying. But after all, nothing seems interesting.
I’m not a person who need motivation from outsider. The biggest motivation comes from my own self. From ability to looking for meaning God gives to me. From lessons gave by the time, by the road, by people. But to gain it all, i have to do something worth. That’s why, i keep questioning, i keep trying right now.
When was the last time you did something for the first time?
Should i do now?
In this kind of life, sometimes we need randomness
To keep our life interesting
We need to go ups and downs
And maybe, this is the one of my downs